I have been in such a horrible state lately. Being overly stressed out is becoming my normal day to day routine:
Wake up
Check phone
Blank screen
Loser
Look at some mirror
Hate self
Make food
Eat it sometimes
Get things together for school
Dread
Off to school
Stress
Class
See people you dont fit in with
Go home
Seclude self
Hate self more
Eat Dinner
Get in bed
Dread tomorrow
Mind switched on forever
Thinking just about everything worth nothing
Crash asleep
Repeat
Something that should be aded to the list is worrying about people in my ASG not liking me anymore and my stupid crush that i have that i shouldn't have.
I hate when I crush on people. Deep down inside I always know they will never feel the same back.
A lot of the time I try to stand at arms length with people to not have my heart feel like it has been ripped apart. My heart is already being held together by the love of my friend Kenzie, who is amazing and always tries to say the same for me, and the tiny hope i have of everything getting better.
Yet this time i failed, and who would have guessed it... such a shocker that the loser fell for the popular guy.
Yet this time i failed, and who would have guessed it... such a shocker that the loser fell for the popular guy.
Why can't I be as pretty as the other girls in ASG? I always feel so self conscious around them. Why would any guy even look my way (that i want to look)? There is one guy in ASG that every girl wants his nuts. Sadly, I'm no exception (well not to the nuts part haha) I'm trying to nip it in the bud now so when he doesn't pick me, which will won't, I attempt to "not care".
Even though I will secretly care, at least I can understand why he wouldn't pick me.
Every girl won't stop talking about how the guy finally likes someone in ASG and like everyone else, i hoped it would be me. I had my predictions like everyone else on who is was or who it would lead to be. The girl i think it is literally is the living embodiment of the dictionary definition of perfect.
She is gorgeous (not me), gets along with everyone and is always included (my phone says i'm not), perfectly skinny (hello fat), is loved by everyone (Look at me, im a loser), but most of all has confidence (I'm shit out).
How the hell am i suposed to keep up with that?
This crush is tearing me inside out.
Even though I will secretly care, at least I can understand why he wouldn't pick me.
Every girl won't stop talking about how the guy finally likes someone in ASG and like everyone else, i hoped it would be me. I had my predictions like everyone else on who is was or who it would lead to be. The girl i think it is literally is the living embodiment of the dictionary definition of perfect.
She is gorgeous (not me), gets along with everyone and is always included (my phone says i'm not), perfectly skinny (hello fat), is loved by everyone (Look at me, im a loser), but most of all has confidence (I'm shit out).
How the hell am i suposed to keep up with that?
This crush is tearing me inside out.
I have a old quote that i forever tried to follow and lived by until now;
Never fall to hard for anyone, because you never know if they will want to catch you.
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